


we are here and this is now

by Shadaras



Series: with hands held high [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftercare, Asexual Character, Dom/sub, Explicit Consent, F/F, Femslash, Kink Negotiation, Rope Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadaras/pseuds/Shadaras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess and Rey navigate their first time experimenting with rope bondage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we are here and this is now

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as a sequel to [to have and to hold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799607), but can also stand alone.

“You’re sure about this,” Rey asks, for what feels like the hundredth time.

Jess shifts on the bed and nods. “I’m sure.” They’ve had this exchange at least three different times in the last thirty minutes, and at least five times over the last week. She reaches out and rubs Rey’s knee. “I want this.”

“And if you change your mind...” Rey’s fidgeting with the soft rope that she found, hiding in some out-of-the-way closet. ‘Scavenger’s instincts,’ she’d said, laughing, when Jess had asked how she’d acquired it. Right now, though, her hands are white and tense, and there’s no trace of that joy in her voice.

“Then I’ll tell you,” Jess repeats patiently. “And if _you_ decide it’s too much, you can say, and we’ll stop, and that’s okay.”

She nods, the motion quick and birdlike. “Nothing complicated.”

“That’s fine.” Jess leans up and brushes a loose hair from Rey’s forehead. “I want you to be comfortable with it.”

Rey reaches up, catches Jess’ hand and presses it against her cheek. Her eyes are closed, and Jess gently rubs her thumb along the curve of her cheekbone. Rey’s skin is always softer than she expects; it’s burnt and freckled from the sun, and it’s been rubbed raw by sand at least once, but when she’s touching her lover like this, all Jess can think about is how warm Rey is, and how her skin gives under her touch, and the way she smells like grease and growing things.

Rey turns her head and kisses Jess’ wrist. Her fingers tighten over Jess’, and Jess catches her breath. Such small motions never seem like they should have so much of an effect. Rey’s other hand, which had been fiddling with the rope, is behind her head now, and pulling Jess closer, into a biting kiss.

The rope trails down her back, and Jess closes her eyes, pressing herself closer to Rey. The texture of the rope isn’t like either her discarded shirt or Rey’s hand, and it’s rougher than her hair but softer than her flight suit. It’s a tease against her nape, in a completely different way than the sharpness of Rey’s teeth on her lower lip.

Then Rey lets go of her hand, and the rope is taut against Jess’ spine, holding her against Rey. Jess reaches out, clutching Rey’s hips, steadying herself against the rush that opens her mouth and eyes, fixes her attention on Rey’s face and hunter’s gaze. Rey’s got the rope held in one hand, and has risen to kneel in front of Jess, tugging on the rope until her face is against Rey’s muscled stomach. 

Impulsively, Jess flicks out her tongue, traces a line on Rey’s skin. She shudders, and the rope loosens on Jess’ shoulders. Rey gently catches Jess’ chin and tilts it up. Her face is gentle, and Jess says, not quite panting, “It’s good.”

Rey’s eyes close for a moment, and her hand slips down to Jess’ throat. “And this?”

Her pulse is quick against Rey’s hands, and Jess whispers, even that movement enough to press down on the knuckle of Rey’s fingers, “Yes.”

Rey tightens her grip, ever so slightly, and Jess’ fingers dig into her hips.

Jess is almost certain her nails are leaving marks -- scratches, bruises, _something_ on the hard muscles that are shifting forward towards her -- but she can’t tear her eyes away from Rey’s, can’t do anything but breathe, and feel her pulse beat, cat-quick, in her throat.

Rey’s other hand wraps the rope around Jess’ neck, and it’s soft and cool and almost shocking. The loops are gentle on her, and the tension increases slowly, until Jess is trembling, gasping because she can’t move from where Rey’s eyes are locked on hers. Then Rey drops her fingers from Jess’ neck, and ties a quick knot in the rope. It rests in the hollow of her collarbones, and the weight shouldn’t matter that much but it does, and as it hits her Jess convulses, pulling Rey closer.

“You alright?” Rey’s fingers slip between the rope and Jess’ neck, caressing her pulse. “I can take it off.”

Jess nuzzles into Rey, into the scent of earth that always sticks to her skin, and manages to say, “You’re here.”

“Yes, but--”

“Safe,” Jess insists.

Rey strokes her hair, and moves forward until her knees are on either side of Jess’, pressing against her. Jess sighs into her solidity, and wraps her arms around Rey, hands crossing at the base of Rey’s spine. “Okay,” Rey says, and her words are a rise and fall of warmth against Jess’ face.

Jess loses track of time, breathing with Rey, certain in her lover’s body against hers: Rey’s hands in her hair, at the nape of her neck, running smooth and sure down her shoulders and arms, trailing onto her back; Rey’s hips moving subtly, weight changing as Jess relaxes and the bed shifts beneath them; Rey’s legs, pressing into her, grounding her in the squish of the mattress and the gravity pulling at both of them.

Then Rey says, “Give me your hands,” like it’s the most ordinary thing in the world, the gentlest and simplest request that could be made. Jess sits up straight again, and trails her hands over Rey’s hips until she needs to pull them away from Rey’s sun-kissed skin and offer them up to her lover.

Rey smiles at her, sharp eyes softening, and grasps Jess’ wrists in one hand, crossing them so that they faced back towards her. Her breasts rest in the curve of her arms, weighing just enough for her to be aware of it, exposing her nipples more prominently to the cool air of her bedroom. “Hold them here,” Rey says, pressing Jess’ hands against her collarbones.

Jess nods. The rope is unfamiliar under her hands. Her skin is tough from growing up diving in the seas of Naboo and working in the sun, and the rope is smooth, plastic, and strange. Rey’s calloused hands take that rope, though, and weave it around her wrists: over and around and through, and Jess relaxes into the soft pressure.

The ends of the rope slip under the loops collaring her, and Jess lets out a shaky breath; the ends are harsher, burnt stiff to keep from fraying. “Good,” she says, at Rey’s concerned look, at the pause in the rope’s movement. “Intense.”

That’s enough, it seems; Rey nods and finishes pulling the rope through. Jess closes her eyes and swallows, keeping still with effort. The slide of rope against her throat is intoxicating, and she’s aware that her breathing is halfway to panting, almost all the way to a whine. Rey’s knees shift against her, and Jess opens her eyes to see Rey bending over, until she places a kiss on Jess’ forehead. “Still with me?” Rey murmurs, voice warm.

“Yes,” Jess says, and Rey’s lips are a hand’s breadth from hers and she can’t move forward, especially not with Rey’s hands on her hips and Rey’s eyes fixed, intent, on her own. “I want--” and her eyes flicker down to Rey’s lips and they’re parted, and she can feel her lover’s breath on her own.

Rey laughs, and leans in, kissing Jess with a closed mouth. Jess moans and rocks forward, parting her own lips, pressing her tongue against Rey. There’s a moment of resistance, and then one of Rey’s hands comes up and tangles in her hair, and Rey’s mouth opens and teeth are on Jess’ lower lip, biting, tugging, and Jess _whines_ , attempting to reach forward and only managing to tug herself closer to her lover.

Her body is alight with sensation and it feels like Rey’s barely touching her -- Rey’s mouth is on hers; Rey’s hand is in her hair, the other still on her hip; Rey’s legs are tight around hers, keeping her in place; Rey’s breasts drift over hers, gentle, seemingly unintended touches that aren’t _enough_ \-- and Jess says (manages, breathes, whines), “ _Please_.”

Rey releases her lip and smiles. The hand in her hair slides free, and Jess shudders at the loss of that tug. Instead, it’s on her shoulder, and Rey’s leaning into her, and Jess is glad she’s flexible because she’s on her back now, Rey pressed all against her, and the only shame of the rope around her neck and wrists is that Rey can’t kiss and bruise her throat, but that’s okay, because Rey shimmies down her and her lips -- teeth -- close over one of her nipples and it’s warm and harsh and Jess can only think, only say, “Yes.”

The tug against her neck as Jess forgets her hands are bound to the rope collar makes her push her entire body up towards Rey’s, which is hovering maddeningly just above hers, hair still neatly bound up in three buns, breasts free, arms covered, pants (as ever) firmly on. Rey laughs, raising her head just enough that the laugh brushes across her breast as wind. “Impatient?”

Jess carefully lifts her head up instead, trying to scowl but just ending up grinning. “Wanna touch you.”

“Not gonna happen.” Rey sits up, still squeezing Jess’ legs together between her own. Jess tries to follow, but Rey just holds out a hand and gently pushes her back down again. “There’s power here, isn’t there?”

“Yeah.” Jess lets herself flop against the bed. “You like it?”

“I think so.” Rey’s fingers drift across Jess’ thighs, and it’s all Jess can do to keep herself still. “You still good?”

“I want you to keep touching me.”

“The rope’s okay?”

“The rope,” Jess says, smiling up at the ceiling, “is splendid.”

Rey’s hands settle onto her bare hips. “Good.”

Jess almost asks what Rey’s doing, and then Rey releases her legs, and she stretches them out instead, pulling them up and settling them over Rey’s. “Go on,” she murmurs, eyes slipping closed again, hips forced still by Rey’s weight on them.

“You know,” Rey says, voice light and conversational, “I might have, if you hadn’t asked like that.”

“Hey!”

Rey laughs, and leans forward, pressing Jess’ hips even further down, and starts kissing her arms, slowly moving first up one arm and then the other, before giving special attention to her hands. Jess keeps her fingers loosely spread, but angles her wrists up, letting Rey slide her fingertips between warm lips, watching as Rey’s eyes fluttered half-closed, as the tip of Rey’s tongue slips out and runs circles around her nails.

Then Rey’s teeth close around the web between her thumb and first finger, and Jess hisses, trying to lean forward and kiss Rey properly. Her own hands are in her way, though, and Rey grins at her, licking down the curve of her thumb.

“Not even a kiss?” Jess folds her hands down into fists tight against her collarbones.

Rey sits up. “It’s so interesting watching you squirm.”

“You’ll have more chances to study my reactions.”

“But I can also do it now.” One of Rey’s hands dips down the curve of her hip, brushing against her pubic hair, and Jess fights back a reaction. Rey smiles. “You see?”

“Just--” Jess tilts her hips towards the slow circles Rey’s now making along her hipbone. “ _Fuck_ , Rey.”

“Yes, I know.” Rey’s hand stills on her, and her weight presses down against her. “And my promise is as it ever is.”

Jess sighs, and drops her head back down. “I _know_.”

Rey’s legs slide out from under hers, and the bed squeaks as Rey settles next to her. Jess turns to look at where Rey’s sitting, cross-legged now. “Is it easier, when we’re both fully clothed?”

“Start untying the rope, if we’re having this conversation.” Rey’s hands flicker out immediately, and while they’re working, Jess keeps talking, doing her best to ignore the way Rey’s hands and the rope feel. “I do mean it, when I say I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know.”

“Is it easier with pants on?” Jess shrugs, as best she can. “Not really.”

“You don’t normally--”

“--make it so obvious what I want?” She closes her eyes and settles her newly-freed hand at her side. “The rope is more intense than your hands.”

Rey’s hands fall still and draw back.

Jess sits up, facing the edge of the bed, away from Rey. She finishes undoing the knot at her neck, silently, and draws the loops over her head. “I told you I wanted it.”

“You didn’t say exactly how.”

The lack of accusation in Rey’s voice is somehow worse. Jess winces and puts the rope on the bed before leaning down to retrieve her pants. It’ll be easier to focus on this conversation, then. Even if her skin is still burning, even if what she _wants_ is to turn around and shove Rey against the wall and kiss her and bite at her until her girlfriend returns the favour. She forces herself to say, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Rey’s hand settles gently on her shoulder. “I didn’t ask.”

Jess shoves her legs into the loose pants and pulls them up around her hips. Tying them is a far less satisfying pressure than Rey’s hands, but she still leans into Rey’s touch as she says, “I didn’t think to offer.”

“Jess...”

She turns, legs still dangling off the bed, and Rey’s hand slide up to cup her cheek. Jess ducks into it, still not quite looking at Rey. “It’s been a while, with the rope.”

“So you’d forgotten?” Calm. Even. If Rey’s upset, she’s hiding it well enough that Jess can’t tell. “That happens.”

Jess curls one hand around Rey’s wrist, holding almost tighter than she’s okay with. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Rey pulls gently on Jess’ neck; a suggestion, not an intention. Jess follows, slowly falling over until her head’s on Rey’s lap. “Are you?”

“I think I need a minute,” Jess says, into the ever-surprising softness of Rey’s legs.

Rey starts stroking her hair. “I think I’d figured that out.”

Jess curls around Rey, looping an arm around Rey’s legs and tucking her thighs over Rey’s feet, which wiggle under her. Jess giggles at that, squeezing her girlfriend tighter. “Thank you.”

Rey’s fingers pause in tracing the curve of her ear. “Isn’t this how it’s supposed to be?”

“Yeah,” Jess says, and her eyes prickle with tears. “It is.”

“Then,” Rey says, her fingers continuing their path, gentle and strong and sure, “you are welcome. And thank you, too,” she adds, voice softer. “For being so kind.”

Jess nods, and buries her face in Rey’s legs as she cries, quietly and without any movement, just tears welling up out of her eyes and staining Rey’s pants with saltwater.

She loses track of time again. When the tears fade, Rey’s hand is still there, quiet and inevitable, a smooth weight crossing from the crown of her head down her neck to her shoulder, again and again and again. Jess reaches up, blindly, and Rey grasps her hand. “You okay?” Rey asks.

“I think so.” Jess scooches herself further up Rey, until she’s resting against her girlfriend’s chest. “Thank you.”

Rey wraps her up in a hug and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I am here for you.”

“I know.” Jess looks up and smiles. “But hey, the rope was pretty cool, wasn’t it?”

Rey laughs, and kisses her, quick and light and on the lips. “It was, yeah.”

“Want to do that part again, in a while?”

“Yeah,” Rey says, grinning at her. “I think I do.”

Jess smiles, and settles against Rey, listening to the steady sound of her heartbeat, and says, “Good.”


End file.
